Book reviewed by Charles Sherlock, May 2025
Unquenchable Love: Gender, Sexuality, and Theology in Conversation
by René Erwich and Alatine Leene
OR, USA: Cascade, 2024; xx + 244 pages
ISBN 9781666778243, first edition, paperback
AUD$36
Gender and sexuality became front-page news early in 2025 when the new President of the USA signed an Executive Order stating that US Government policy from now on is that “there are only two genders—male and female.” What are Christians—and others—to make of this? How does it engage the biblical affirmation that humans are made in the image of God? How does it relate to the experience of many people?
This book addresses these questions directly and in detail. The authors, Prof. René Erwich and Dr Alatine Leene, are from the Netherlands. In 2020 Dr Leene was that country’s “theologian of the year.” Prof. Erwich, now at Viaa University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands, was Principal of Whitley College, the Baptist College of Victoria, from 2017–2023, so has a strong Australian link. Both write out of considerable experience as pastors and teachers: they aim to “provide food for thought from a theological perspective, in the hope that it might help in conversations about gender and sexuality” (p. 214). Although “Initially, we were thinking of a specific target audience of broadly evangelical Christians,” they recognize that “people from all walks of life, people of different faiths, or those with no faith may also wish to read this book” (p. xiii). I hope they do.
Erwich and Leene offer a wide range of resources on the topics considered and set parameters on the issues from Christian faith. But, to encourage reflection from the ground up, they deliberately refrain from drawing firm conclusions. If you are looking for answers around gender and sexuality, you will be frustrated. But you will find manifold resources to encourage you, not so much to have a “position,” but to live life in Christ faithfully.
Talking about sexuality easily raises anxieties in each of us. There is nothing in this book to embarrass any reader; the authors respect you. “Unquenchable Love is a book in which LGBTIQ+ Christians can feel safe,” a back cover states—and I’d add, so can “straight” ones. Each chapter ends with questions to encourage safe discussion.
The Preface outlines the “Approach and Structure” of the book, with a clear table (from Richard Osmer) of its stages (pp. xiv–xv). This approach starts with “What is going on” and “Why?” before looking at “What should be going on?”, using Christian resources (notably the Bible) to help learn “What will we be doing differently in practice?” This method may draw debate—but the Bible and classical Christian faith are not sidelined.
Chapter 1, the Introduction, seeks “to explore the confusion around sexuality we observe in Christian circles and beyond” (p. 2). Sex (“which is everywhere”), sexuality, and gender are carefully distinguished, taking into account changes in Western societies. A figure (p. 13) sets out how identity, expression, biology, and orientation relate in being male and female; this page would be an excellent start for group reflection. An informative Table of Terminology lists fifteen items, from “Gender identity” and “Binary thinking” to “Transgender” (pp. 17–18). These terms are then used consistently across the book.
The Introduction concludes with “Theological Reflection on Sexuality,” taking up insights from Rowan Williams: “the whole history of creation tells us again and again that God desires us … so that we may ‘grow into’ the same triune God who loves us” (pp. 21–21). At the core of this position is that being human involves “embodied grace.”
Chapter 2 takes “A Look into History,” from the philosophers of Greece and Rome, early church history (especially Paul), the Middle Ages (women then seen as “failures, imperfect men” (p. 36), the Reformation (where marriage becomes affirmed), the Enlightenment (a “double standard” between genders) to the twentieth century—feminism, homosexuality, and churches’ responses. This quick skip made me more aware of how social norms shape our understanding of one another as gendered humans. As a noteworthy aside, what might be learnt from the First Nations people of this land about gender issues? Their adherence to complex marriage patterns supported their long-term flourishing.
“Gender, Sexuality and Modern Science,” Chapter 3, covers a vast range of material, grounded in wide reading of scientific and theological work. Again and again comes the refrain: which are more significant: essentialist (nature-based) or constructivist (nurture-related) approaches to gender? Two tables (pp. 63, 65) set out “Biological Sex Variations,” with a brief history of their emergence. Insights from psychology, anthropology, and sociology are taken up before a “Mid-term Review: what significance do these perspectives have?” That, indeed, is a major question!
The authors’ method turns to “What should be going on” in Chapter 4, “Gender and Sexuality in the Bible,” the book’s longest chapter. It starts by asking, “How do we read the Bible?” Seeing the Bible as a rulebook is contested, since the rules derived are largely shaped by readers’ context. The “traditional” view that sex belongs only in marriage is described effectively (pp. 96–97, 101) but is then left aside. While a power imbalance between women and men can be seen in Testaments, this view, it is concluded, “benefits no-one, and it does not do justice to the character of the Bible” (p. 99).
The approach which the authors prefer is that “the Bible is central as a narrative of desire … God desires to share his (sic) life, love and grace with us. The Bible is full of desire” (p. 98). With this in mind, “Sexuality and Marriage in the Hebrew Bible is taken up: how different relationship structures were then from now! Particular topics are marriage, adultery, prostitution, divorce, sexual pleasure, nudity, cleanliness and promiscuity, ending with ‘The Positive Image in the Songs of Songs’” (which opens the Preface, p. ix).
A turning-point is “Diversity and the Big Picture in the New Testament,” focussed around Galatians 3:28. “It seems that … an apparently logical division of humanity into two groups—male and female, masculine and feminine—has been abolished since the coming of Christ” (p. 118). This by no means ends discussion, however! On “Jesus and Gender,” the authors conclude that “Jesus’s interaction with and approach to women is unprecedented! … Jesus brings them into God’s family and into the wider circle of disciples, and respects them fully” (p. 123). His attitude as a male is seen most clearly in Philippians 2:6-11, “the way of unmastery” (p. 124, the authors’ emphasis). His “circumcision is an example of something that threatens masculinity,” while the depiction of the “cosmic Lord’ in Revelation is not of a warmonger but “the lamb as if slain” (p. 126). A keen reflection on being a eunuch for the kingdom of God follows, before a brief consideration of marriage and divorce (pp. 132–33, no surprises) leads into a fuller reflection on homosexuality and homosexual relationships (pp. 134–143, rightly pointing to Romans 1:18–32 as central). The chapter concludes by stepping “Briefly Back to Some Pauline Texts …” with interesting ideas (pp. 143–146).
‘‘Desire as a Theological Framework for Gender and Sexuality” is the focus of Chapter 5. Erwich and Leene argue for a “Via transformata” rather than binary (Karl Barth, for example), privatised, or eschatological pathways. In this, “Faith, sexuality and eroticism are not simply linked to, but embodied in a discourse of shalom (peace, well-being, wholeness) and justice” (p. 155). The “Contours” of “Desire as a Theological Framework” are spelled out around the need to balance Eros and Agape. The dark side of desire is fully acknowledged (2 Samuel 11 is cited), but the Song of Songs once more offers positive insights. A helpful discussion arises from Augustine’s contrast between uti (use) and frui (enjoy) in desire, grounding an insightful reflection on eros in modern life, and in our relationship with God.
This theological chapter draws on the work of David Jensen, Professor of Reformed Theology at Austin Seminary USA, and Adrian Thatcher, Professor in the University of Exeter. But English priest and theologian Sarah Coakley’s writing drives it, setting out Eschatological, Trinitarian, and Pneumatological perspectives—and back to Rowan Williams and embodied grace. Thus, “There is no such thing as perfect sex. Sex does no redeem but, by God’s grace, sex becomes graceful. Desire then takes the shape of embodied grace” (p. 165).
“Hot Issues,” Chapter 6, takes the reader from broad perspectives and ideals to some harsh realities of sexuality in today’s world. The initial topic is Polyamory—loving more than one person, including sexual intimacy, at the same time. It becomes clear that is a major issue today. Though the authors’ aim is to promote reflection rather than rules, the authors here come close to taking a stand: polyamory “may lead to a separation of eros and agape and that is not preferable. On the contrary, we would like to see them kept together very closely.” Further, “Approaching desire from a theological perspective has something exclusive about it, because it requires connectedness and surrender” (p. 181).
Discussing “Purity and Virginity,” the theological issue discerned is the imbalance in what these mean for women and men. After describing a “chastity gala” in a US church, the obvious question is asked, “Why does this ceremony not exist for men?” (p. 184). How Mary as a virgin offers an example to women leads to the need for care in how metaphors are applied to living. For example, what does it mean for Christian men to be part of the bride of Christ (compare with 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 21)?
Reading “Disability, Illness and Sexuality,” as someone for whom life has not included disability or chronic illness, the sensitive detail on sexuality is insightful. Models of disability are reviewed critically, leading to a telling conclusion (p. 191):
The core in all of this is always that God is on the side of what is broken and violated and that Jesus was broken and violated, and is so close to us in our hurt. Desire as embodied grace, and the imperfection of desire throughout the course of this life, can be seen as exactly where there is limitation and (severe) disability.
“Love and Sex Online” leads into a lengthy discussion of prostitution, sex work, and pornography (pp. 192–209). On each of these issues, the authors point out the interactive links between “Sex, Sexism, Power and Violence”—not least their impact on many female pastors: “abuses of power and injustices must be stopped” (p. 211).
This “Hot Issues” chapter concludes with a brief consideration of intersex and transgender people. Because “Christ has broken through binary thinking once and for all” (p. 212), such gender variations “could lead to deeper theological reflection … taking us further in our theological anthropology” (p. 213). This leads into Chapter 7, “Unquenchable Love,” a short reprisal of the authors’ aim and method. The last word is a commendation of conversation, “perhaps starting with people who are transgender” (p. 222).
It is important to note that, on each topic discussed, contemporary scholars are cited, and generalisations eschewed in favour of research-based positions. A full Bibliography (print and web) is included. An Index of subjects and names completes the book.
If I have a reservation, it is that the focus on “hot issues” including divorce means that little is said about the most common human setting for sexuality: marriage (whether formal or de facto). This could lead to a false impression as to its ongoing importance until the new creation. In a future edition, I’d encourage the authors to assess how “divine desire” and “embodied grace” are to be lived in marital life.
That said, I have no hesitation in commending this book, with some qualifications.
- The book is clearly written and well structured, but the complex nature of its subject means that it not an easy read.
- The authors’ method will frustrate readers looking for answers. But as the book progressed I came to appreciate it, even when feeling uncomfortable—not a bad thing, since that encourages reflection! A consistent conclusion is that Christians need to set aside strict binary attitudes and the resulting power imbalances.
- The theological framework offered, that God desires us, so that human living involves “embodied grace,” has the promise of fruits beyond this book. That is its enduring quality, which sustains life in Christ beyond the social changes around gender and sexuality.